4 Pillars of Sacramental Marriage |
Posted: 18 Jul 2013 08:43 AM PDT
Archbishop John C. Nienstedt
by Archbishop John C. Nienstedt:
Recently, I was addressing a point on the unique understanding that we
as Catholics have on the sacredness of the Holy Eucharist, when one of
my listeners blurted out, “Well, why doesn’t the Church get honest and
admit that her annulments are just another name for divorce!”
Surprised at the abrupt change of topic, I asked: “Do you
understand the difference between civil marriage and sacramental
marriage?” The man admitted that he did not. I regret to say that many
other Catholics do not either and that is a terrible shame.
‘Marriage in the Lord’
Civil marriage is based on a contract or written agreement that
this man and this woman freely bind their lives together as one social
entity (originally this was the idea behind them taking one name). That
contract continues as long as the two parties desire it to be so.
Civil governments have a stake in the outcome of such unions
because they provide future social stability through the children who
are born, educated and prepared for citizenship as a result of those
contractual relationships. When the well-being of civil marriage is
threatened, the future of the common good is placed at risk, and that
ought to be of significant concern for governmental leaders.
Sacramental marriage externally looks just like civil marriage, but
the internal reality is far different. Sacramental marriage rests on
what I call the four pillars that give it definition:
- Faith-filled: It is a union between a baptized man and a baptized woman;
- Free consent: It is knowingly and willingly entered into by a man and a woman who understand what they are doing and have the capacity to follow through;
- Indissoluble: Both believers recognize that this is a lifelong, exclusive and monogamous union because it is a “marriage in the Lord”;
- Fruitful: Being believers, the couple models the generative love of God as seen in the Blessed Trinity in willing that their love for each other will bear fruit in the procreation and education of their children.
When we view the meaning of sacramental marriage over and against
that of a civil marriage, we begin to understand why the Catholic Church
defines the sacrament of marriage as a “covenant” — a union in God and
dependent on his assistance of grace. Accordingly, divorce has no place
in terms of sacramentality because God’s grace never dies even in the
presence of human sin or weakness.
An annulment, on the other hand, results after careful
consideration has been given as to whether or not all four pillars were
present the day that the couple said their “I do’s.” If one or more
dimensions were missing, then that union, which admittedly was a civil
marriage, was never capable of being a sacramental marriage.
On the other hand, when two Lutherans are married in a Lutheran
Church, the Catholic Church presumes they, too, have entered into a
sacramental union due to the validity of their baptism. (The same
understanding of validity does not, however, extend to a Lutheran
theology of the Eucharist.) If they later divorce and one of the parties
desires to marry a Catholic, his or her union would require an
annulment before marriage to a Catholic could take place.
Some will say that all this is needless bureaucracy or “red tape.”
However, the Catholic Church sees that the dignity of the human person
requires respect for his or her public promise spoken through the
wedding vows before a recognized religious minister and two witnesses.
The Church in that sense is only holding each party to his or her word
and thus defending the integrity of their promises.
In addition, the increasing number of marriages in our archdiocese between persons of “mixed religious”
backgrounds is a source of deep concern for me, precisely because a
mutually unified understanding of sacramentality in many cases is not
present and because a fully unified practice of faith is not possible.
In such instances, pastoral leaders must devote extra time and
attention to ensure that these couples are prepared to face the
inevitable challenges that will face their commitment.
Importance of children
Lastly, allow me to speak to the overall importance of the
procreation and education of children in regard to the sacramentality of
marriage.
The Second Vatican Council’s constitution, “Gaudium et Spes,” did
not use the distinction of “primary” and “secondary” in referring to the
two-fold significance of the conjugal act, namely its procreative and
unitive significances. This has led some commentators to conclude that a
conflict could arise whereby the procreative significance may
legitimately be ignored in favor of the unity of the couple, thus
rationalizing the immoral use of contraception or sterilization.
My bishop, John Cardinal Dearden (for whom I served four years as
his priest secretary), served as the committee chair when that section
on marriage was being drafted. He told me personally that the above
interpretation was never intended by the Council Fathers. While the two
ends are essential, they do not bear the same moral weight. The
procreative intent of marriage has been its defining character “from the
beginning.” (Genesis 1:28)
St. Paul speaks of marriage as a “great mystery,” a marvelous
participation in God’s life and mission. It is a blessed vocation and a
holy adventure, wherein a man and a woman entrust their hearts, their
lives and their eternal destinies to one another. God is the silent
companion in the living out of that commitment. Marriages flourish when
that is understood and when God’s assistance is sought in daily prayer
and Sunday Eucharist.
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